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I required my husband’s approval and looked to him as my compass and guide because of insecurities that I was unwilling to discuss with Christ. I even went so far as to buy roller hockey gear and drive with him out to a dark, damp roller rink an hour away at 11 p.m.

It is because of these unrealistic expectations I placed on our relationship that I chased after these lies and accepted them as a reality in my life. Therefore, if I try making our life all about my husband and leave my needs at the door he won’t need pornography anymore. on a weeknight to play a sport I knew or cared nothing about.

In a decade or so they will become meek wives and strict mothers, but now they set their wild sex-craving side free and enjoy it.

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My husband never verbalized of this, it was purely my own insecurity that led me to believe that if I could only change in some way, I could maintain control of the outcome…this was the ultimate lie. The women in pornography, on the other hand, don’t require anything of the participant. Our life revolved around him and his needs, which in turn gave me a false sense of security. There are no additions or subtractions to the man’s request.

I didn’t want to be labeled “demanding” so I became “Darren’s wife” with one sole purpose…not to have an identity of my own. They just passively follow through with no hesitation or questioning.

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