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Guys build up the occasion in their mind for days or weeks beforehand, only to be severely let down after the fact.

Too much pressure, too little chemistry, not enough fun, not enough attraction, nothing accomplished—all of these disappointments crush men in their pursuit of love. You really have to check out each tip and truly take in what each expert is saying! make sure you check out the awesome infographic at the very end of the post when you’re finished.

If you’ve been searching for the best first date tips ever assembled, you’ve come to the right place!

If you are actively meeting and dating women, or looking to find someone special, you must get your dating practices down pat.

the rug burns on your bruises tumbling in a violent violet avalanche down your cut on the top of the foot from the stairwell,where the forces of fucking and friction collided with stainproof carpeting,where you discarded pain like an old handbag,heavy and workworn,in favor of freedom and pleasure and luminous eyes gazing from behind lust’s hum of the body,surgingnerves under skin singing like fiber optic cables,sparkling white lightsreigniting last night’s body remembersand is hungry again.- m 4 years ago married guy sent me a facebook message and i never responded. ”me: (deletes phone number and text) 4 years ago to get under another person?they can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge.you never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. closed your mouth more tried to be softer prettier less volatile, less awake but even when sleeping you could feel him travelling away from you in his dreams so what did you want to do, love split his head open?Or try the windshield-wiper move; glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where his head begins, then move your thumb up and over the top of the head several times." If, at any point during this oddly elaborate ritual, he looks confused, toss him a heated stare and say, "I crave you" — you know, to clear things up. "34 percent of guys say they wish a girl would surprise them with oral when they walk in the door." The other two-thirds might think it's alarmingly precalculated, but that's a risk worth taking. "Fifty-six percent of unmarried men prefer receiving head while lying down as opposed to standing up, while the numbers are exactly reversed for married men." I think that means you are one married man and two standard deviations from overthinking foreplay. If these don't skyrocket your pleasure (and have him drowning in drool), we don't know what will." I pride myself on keeping up with the international register of erotic terminology, but somehow "drowning in drool" slipped right by me. "Tickle his feet with your nipples: climb on top of him in reverse cowgirl position, then bend over until your nipples reach the tops of his feet. (how rude of your vadge to have hogged it all these years)." Your vadge is a hog, women. And what sort of weirdly dexterous breasts allow for painting?However, after Googling it, I did learn that it accounts for 23% of nocturnal deaths among St. …Yowzah." When this sounds spicy, you have hit new heights of erotic boredom. Doesn't this just involve lunging at him like a brightly-colored walrus? "Draw an attention-grabbing circle around your nipples using rhinestones and body glue for a special night in." Definitely wait for a special night. "Cook dinner topless, apply a little tomato sauce to your nipple," and ask your man to lick it off." Just don’t attempt #16 and #17 on the same night — your man might choke on a rhinestone.

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