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It's also somewhat fraught with a late-in-life perspective that may be largely lost on young readers.Readers young and old are rarely ambivalent about this book -- it's either love or hate, often mixed with a hefty dose of parody (Hemingway at times writes like a macho parody of himself).Now he’s been made an offer he can hardly refuse – to appear in a You Porn scene.Mr Cabrera is said to want to start a new life, with plans to move to the USA where he hopes his huge phallus will be more appreciated. [after cracking a secret code] Ralphie: [Reading it] Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness.

Amid claims he was lying about the sheer size of his manhood, Mr Cabera recently underwent a medical examination and had an X-ray to prove that he was telling the truth.

Ralphie: Heh, I was just kidding, even though Schwartz is getting one. Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] I couldn't believe my own ears. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. But, I chickened out and said the first name that came to mind. Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap.

Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man.

[Ralphie is visiting Santa at the department store, only he can't remember what he wanted] Santa Claus: How about a nice football?

With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'football'.

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