Christians aren’t the only ones obsessed with the dating scene.
Adam was neither of those things and he definitely wasn’t a Christian.
This is by far the weakest excuse for a cop-out I’ve ever heard, and yet it somehow manages to repeatedly eek its way out of the mouths of otherwise-brilliant pastors, authors, bloggers, and never-at-all-brilliant Twitter philosophers. Last time I checked, I don’t get paralyzed when a hot girl says “Hi” to me, and I am literally the ONLY one in control of actions at all times. Why don’t all the men just grow up, and then we can start having some teaching for adults. If most of the Christian guys you’re interested in had it fully together, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation. It simply means they are lacking in awareness, confidence, or most commonly, know-what-they-want-edness. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t pursue a guy. If dating hinders your relationship with God, why would you ever date… If you’re focusing on Jesus in this season, who are you focusing on during all the other seasons?
I don’t recall signing over my personal responsibility to every woman on the planet with nicely toned legs and a propensity for living. I’m just saying that if you know what you want, why wait until he figures it out? If you get married at age 25, you’ll spend at least two thirds of your life in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in Christian dating culture is the idea that young adults should limit their coed relationships to marriage fast-track candidates.
But after being in the church for many years and seeing several Christian couples interact with one another, I’m convinced that many would-be happy dating Christians are anxious and joyless simply because they’re putting too much pressure on the relationship. If you like the girl you’re dating, and she actually likes you, then you should probably get married. I proposed to Denise after about six months of dating, but we’ve been (best! Non-Christians won’t get you, and they may call you prude or weird or whatever for intentionally pursuing marriage. Listen and be kind, but you just may have to ignore the naysayers.
Men, if you’re serious about the girl you’re dating (as you should be), then pursue her friendship. Then read , and keep doing point number one listed above. Paul makes over 200 references to union with Christ in the New Testament. Feast on the gospel daily, and allow the power of the Spirit to empower your pursuit of purity.
Dating with a trajectory towards marriage doesn’t mean you only date one person ever. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. The ultimate purpose of marriage is sanctification (becoming like God). If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp.